Whether you have relationship problems or not, it’s comforting to have your secret relationship tool. This can be kept until needed or can be used in problematic situations instantly. Although your romantic connection with someone may seem well and happy, having issues to resolve is inevitable. Being prepared to handle these complications will help you achieve relationship success in the long run.

Your secret relationship tool should be – knowing how to look after yourself as well as others .

Some people make the chronic mistake of only looking after others. They are often tagged as martyrs who care too much about their partners – costing them their own mental, physical and emotional health. 

According to Healthline , martyr “is a term used to describe someone who seems to be suffering one way or another”. Despite feeling exhausted, they brush off their personal needs to attend to the demands of their significant other.

Being a martyr may progress to feeling angry, resentful, and helpless. They also feel stuck with no motivation to help themselves out of a situation. Eventually, it affects other relationships; you feel disengaged with family and friends or unhappy with work. 

Whilst some people are too busy taking care of others, some people only look after themselves. They don’t consider what other people think or want to do. When it comes to making decisions, they won’t bother asking what their partner wants.

Since they are too engulfed by their own desires, other people’s feelings or opinions don’t matter. They can’t be present, don’t listen, or even attend to the smallest needs of others. The relationship only serves their needs, and there’s no respect for the other person.

Knowing how to look after others and yourself will serve as an advantage at the onset of problems. When uncertainties arise, you’re able to come to the table with your full self. You understand that there should be a high regard for both how you and your partner feel. 

Making decisions will entail considering what each partner wants and how you want to move forward with the relationship. You take into account every single factor that might impact your bond and where decisions might lead you.

This week, why not consider and implement two ways that can help you look after yourself and others? Think about the best ways to make yourself, your significant other, or your family and friends feel loved and valued all at the same time. 

Watch the video here.

If you want to learn more about relationships, join the Facebook group Long-Term Relationship Success .